My Dirty Little Secret [entries|friends|calendar] LoUi Xx... [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

May 03 [ ] Generally I have uttermost faith in life the world and most of all love. I spend 98% of my drunken moments telling people my theories on love and how love is all we need to survive.. But now I have no faith in love. And I do not appreciate the world. Why do I have to be so young? I just want to retire so I can move to my tiny house on the hill alone and read books for the rest of my life =[ 1

May 02 [ ] When am I going to accept that I don't love you anymore Were over and I need to just walk away and let you You just have the smallest hold left over me and I can't get you off. Im such an idiot!!! Can you just leave me alone Don't tell me you love me Don't try to hold my hand And don't try and kiss me!! I don't wanna do this anymore! 1

Apr 20 [ ] You don't want to kiss me You don't want to sleep with me You find my personality annoying. Wait. Then why do you love me??

Apr 14 [ ] Im hating you more and more every day.

Feb 07 [ ] What the fuck am I thinking. This is a bad idea

Feb 04 [ ] So things have been going well, We talk fine we look fine everything is fine. I stay the night with no conciquences keeping my mouth shut with all the things I just want to yell at you and tell you how we can't keep pretending that everything is just fine. I just hate it when reality hits me and im sitting infront of your wardobe and I notice little reminders on your shelves of all the reasons we don't wake up next to eachother anymore. Oh is life. Oh is love Oh is realising things never change.

Jan 28 I don't get it [ ] I spent so long looking for you, I found you, and now I don't want you. I've found that I am now desperatly trying to convince myself that I love you and want things to go back to normal. But really, I think all I want is to show you who I am today. How much I have changed and grown without you. Seeing you now I feel I am capable of doing things unimaginable and its put a spark back in my heart. I look at you now and the only way to describe it is as a "softcock" So fragile and unsure. I can't do that again. Im much smarter. I love your family and I love who you used to be. But people change And this time its for my benefit. BIG SMILES.

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